You’ve probably met friends who dump their girlfriends the moment they think they’ve met Mr Right. Heck, we even do that ourselves sometimes, whether intentionally or not. Once you meet a guy who rocks your world, it’s perfectly understandable to want to spend all your free time with him – especially in the first few months. But no man is worth losing your friendships over so don’t ever make that mistake. Scroll through the gallery to find out why you should never ignore your girlfriends when you’re in a relationship.
Text: Balvinder Sandhu / Her World / March 2018
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For more relationship stories, read CLEO Asks: Guys Tell Us How They Show That They’re Interested In You and What Your Boyfriend Means When He Needs Space To Think Things Through.
Friendships are important
You might not ever make vows to each other as you do in a marriage but that doesn’t mean that your friends are an insignificant part of your life. Some might even say it’s harder to find a good, loyal female friend than it is to find a good man you’d want to spend the rest of your life with.
There are no pretences in friendships and you won’t need to do (almost) anything to try to impress someone you want to befriend, as opposed to date. We all strive to have lifelong friendships so treasure them and don’t sideline them just because you’ve met a man. They definitely don’t deserve such treatment from you.
You need a sounding board
It’s great to be in a love bubble where it’s all rainbows and butterflies and your new man can do no wrong. However, nobody’s perfect and, sooner or later, there are going to be things that might concern you about him, be it something small like a text that doesn’t make sense to you or a bigger issue like his wandering eye, for example. Who else are you meant to talk to about such things?
Your friends knew you before you met your man so they are the best people to get advice from or turn to when you have questions. Friends work as a great sounding board too so don’t lose sight of how valuable they are to you.
Friends keep you grounded
Just because you’ve met a man who makes you happy doesn’t mean you should forget everyone else who brought you joy in the past. Friends pick you up when you’re down but they’re also excellent to share the good times with.
We need more than just a lover in our lives, a good balance is important and your friends are an essential part of this equation. And there are some things we can do with and say to our female friends that we can’t to our men. Never underestimate a good ole gossip session with the girls, for example – we all need that kind of flippant fun in our lives every now and then so don’t give that up for love.
You need time apart
It might sound tempting to spend every waking moment with your new man but being together 24/7 isn’t healthy for your relationship. Ever heard of the phrase ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’? Well, that’s true even in a new relationship. Make a conscious effort to spend some time apart so that you’ll give yourselves a chance to miss each other sometimes.
Having me time is great too but you should also mingle with others. And what better way to do this than a catch-up with your friends? This means you won’t be pushing your friends aside and you’ll also get to have fun with your girls while being one-half of a couple. And while you’re doing this, don’t constantly check your phone to see whether bae has messaged you or check his Instagram account to see what he’s up to.
Give your friends your all and miss your man for a bit.
Don't just have couple friends
It’s an inevitable thing that happens to many people – you become part of a couple and you’re soon going on double dates and only spending time with other couples. While there’s nothing wrong with this, you shouldn’t limit your socialising to just those who are coupled up.
Do things with your girlfriends you always did, nothing needs to change just because you have a boyfriend now. And definitely don’t start hanging out with his friends and neglect your own; that’s like adding insult to injury.
Your relationship might not last
We don’t mean to be a downer but there’s always the possibility that you’ll end up breaking up with your boyfriend and you don’t want to be all alone if that happens, do you?
Your friends were there for you before you met him and they’ll be around while you’re with him – and after too, in the event of a break-up. So show them some respect and don’t dump them when it suits you because you won’t be happy being friend-less.