We know we should go the extra mile to make our partner feel special, but being overly selfless isn’t always a good thing.
When we give up too much of ourselves in a relationship, we may no longer have any time for the things we enjoy doing, or worse, are denied the freedom to stand by the values we believe in and, well, be ourselves. This can make us resentful and cause us to start sabotaging the relationship by picking fights.
By putting some of our needs first, we allow ourselves to be happy, which will in turn make us better parters.
As Jessica Lamb, Psychotherapist and Founder of Relationship Matters, says: “At times, being selfish is setting boundaries. It’s saying to your partner, ‘This is important to me and part of who I am, can you accept it and honour them?’”
Relationships are all about compromise and commitment, but sometimes, it’s really OK to focus on yourself. Scroll the gallery to learn more about the seven things you should be selfish about in a relationship.
An earlier version of ths article first appeared in CLEO September 2017.