Yeah, dirty talk can be difficult to master. That’s why we’ve put together a handy little cheat sheet. Remember these lines and you’ll be as fluent as Jason DeRulo in no time. First things first, here’s a song to set the mood:
Ready? Let’s go.
1. “Wow, you’re huge!”
This one’s a cliché, but we’re not going to knock something that still works in the sack. Every. Single. Time. Says fitness instructor Kevin*: “I love it when my girl tells me how muscular or toned my body is, but what gets me super excited is when she makes a big deal out of my, um, penis length.” Your man not well hung? Just compliment him on his “gorgeous package”.
2. “Mmm… Oohhh…”
Moaning says a lot without having to say much at all. “Don’t be silent, especially if you’re having fun,” says writer Kenneth*. “You don’t have to form whole sentences. A simple series of mmms is enough to let a guy know you can’t get enough of him.”
3. “OMG, you are soooo good!”
Every guy wants feedback on his technique – the positive kind anyway. “Lines such as ‘You’re so good at that!’, ‘Oh, wow, you really know what to do’ and ‘I love the way you move’ get me going every time,” says Lionel*, a game developer.
4. “A little lower baby… oh yeah, that’s it…”
Sex is about the only time men enjoy getting directions. As Kiran*, an engineer, puts it, “don’t just guide my hand or mouth to your erogenous zones; tell me how you’d like me to explore them too. Hearing that you want me to go lower, move faster or kiss slower really fuels my lust for you.”
5. “Oh, (insert his name here)!”
Calling out your man’s name when you’re just about to orgasm will give his ego a boost, says civil servant Stephen*, who shares that he loves to hear his fiancée whisper or scream his name. “It’s amazing knowing that I’m the only thing on her mind when she’s at her most vulnerable.”
6. “I’ve got to have you right now!”
“Men are rarely told that we are desired, so when we hear things like that, it makes us feel good,” says laboratory technician Christopher*. “If there’s one thing I love to hear when my wife and I are making love, it’s a simple ‘I want you so much’ or ‘You are so sexy’.” Girls, please vocalize your desire, your insatiable hunger, for your man.
Guys dig it when you talk dirty in bed; letting loose your inner bad girl can make him feel like he’s with a different woman. Almost. “It’s always a surprise to hear my fiancée use foul language during sex because she’s usually so polite and soft-spoken,” says Adam, an enginner. “The F word is music to my ears. And I love it when she uses slang, such as p*ssy and d*ck, to refer to our privates – it drives me absolutely wild!”
8. “Tell me what you like”
These five words make him feel special and show that you care about pleasing him too. “It’s nice to know that I can take a back seat sometimes and let her take the initiative,” says Aaron, a hotel executive. “Ask us how you can turn us on or get us off. Something like, ‘what can I do to please you tonight?’ is a good start.”
9. “I fantasise about us…”
Men like hearing about your sexual fantasies. Envisaging getting it on in a dressing room? Or doing it against a wall? Don’t spare him the details, and make him the star of your X-rated visions (that means keeping those Adam Levine fantasies to yourself). “Tell me all your hottest sexual urges, no matter how insane, as long as I’m in them,” says sales director Anthony*. “I love it when my girl opens up about something new she wants to try.”
10. “Damn, you’re getting me so hot…”
He wants to know how your body is responding. “Is your skin tingling? Are you on the brink of orgasm? Are you so turned on you can’t think straight? Tell me specifically the effect I’m having on you,” shares pilot Ravi*. Shy? A simple “I love having you inside me” will do.
*Names have been changed.
Text: Sasha Gonzales, Her World / October 2016
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