Everyone has insecurities. Here’s how to deal with them
Everyone has to come face-to-face with fears, doubts and insecurities. It’s just part of the human condition. And when you’re taking a leap of faith to do something brave, these feelings are often amplified. Just ask our Change Makers, who have dealt with their fair share of self-doubt. Here’s how they found their confidence to push through with their mission.
Adulting can be difficult. We get it. We hope you find the following stories helpful: How to deal with insecurity and other stressful situations, like the loss of a loved one; 4 bad habits you need to work on today; 5 easy ways to mindfully de-stress.
Charmaine Poh, artist
“I think it’s OK to be in a crippling position sometimes, but you have to be able to pull yourself together and realise that life goes on—that there are bigger things than you and your mistakes. You have to know that things can only get better. You can learn, apologise, let go, and move on.
I also think it’s important to have doubt.”
Farhanna Farid, powerlifter
“Self-reflection is very important. You need to take a step back in the moment and get a fresh perspective.
A simple analogy I have is squatting. After I fail a squat (and it sucks to fail!), I acknowledge that I’ve survived it, and that failure makes me want to be stronger and do better. I feel it’s the same energy I would apply to life as well—I survived that moment, and was able to grow from there after taking that step back.”
Aeron Choo, sushi chef
“My policy is like Nike’s tagline: Just Do It. And if you’ve made a mistake, learn from the experience. I’m also not ashamed to say that I go for counselling. You need to take care of both your physical and mental health.
The way I see it is this: I need to be responsible for myself, only then I can take care of my team at work.”
Zulayqha Zulkifli, social work associate
“The first thing I do is pray—I invest a lot in my spirituality. I also take the time to talk to people I trust before making a big decision. Because of all that I went through growing up, I find that I get over my insecurities quite well, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel insecure from time to time.
I think it’s important to recognise that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way sometimes, and to choose not to dwell on things.”
Kimberly Hoong, urban farmer
“I look for mentors and sources of inspiration. Because there’s a good chance that the people you’re inspired by have gone through the same problems and have the same kinds of insecurities you’re going through.
When you talk to all these people that have been on similar journeys, it helps you to realise you’re not alone. And I think they’ll be able to give much better advice than if you were to just ask strangers on Facebook.”
Raeesah Khan, humanitarian
“I try to meditate and reflect on why I’m feeling the way I am. I also find it helpful to talk to other women about the problems I’m going through; to have faith in the process and try not to control everything that goes on in my life.”
Tan Wei Ting, filmmaker
“I talk to people I trust about the problem [I’m facing].
Once, I wrote a script [that didn’t get through], and when I was writing my next film, I felt like I couldn’t trust myself again because that was a bad experience. I tend to amplify all these mistakes, so I have to talk to my friends.”