Now, when it comes to relationships (anything human to human, really), it can get quite complicated. Maybe because thoughts, emotions, feelings are customised to each individual, and sometimes they are inexplicable. What’s special to someone may just be ordinary to another. Each of us might also have different expectations of our friends, colleagues, siblings, parents or even lovers.

For a girl, the next closest person to her besides her boyfriend should be her BFF. She must feel so strongly about this person that she’d be like, “She’s my best friend. Break her and I’ll break your face.” Someone this close to my heart is not only a confidante, but also a sister and a soulmate. What makes a good BFF worth keeping for the rest of our lives? To me, it boils down to three things.

  1. Love and Respect
    We’re bringing it down to the fundamentals, but yes there’s gotta be love for the BFF for exactly who she is, and not wanting to change any element of her. You’re privy to her secret prejudices, but you’re still cool with it. You indulge in all of your guilty pleasures together, share the dirtiest gossip, have seen each other without makeup (or unshaven underarms, gasp!), but there’s no judgment or backstabbing. Despite knowing each other inside out and frequently hurling the most vulgar and abusive language to each other, there is undoubtable respect and understanding. You can sense each other’s emotional state over text messages, based on punctuation, emoji usage and yeah, telepathy. When it’s time for warm hugs, comforting words or even a sleepover, you know you can count on this girl, because she’s one in a million.

  2. Collective Minds
    Like how birds of the same feather flock together, BFFs think, feel, act, breathe and even menstruate alike. OK, I’m not 100% sure about the last one, but common interests and habits bind people together. The more we agree with each other about various issues, from money to sex, religion, family and relationships, the more affinity and bond we think there is in the pod. Maybe we’ll even have the same unrehearsed facial expressions (or unflattering contortions) on Snapchat. I feel an adrenaline rush and connection whenever I chat with a girlfriend and she finishes my sentences or finds the exact words to describe what I think about a particular matter or topic. It is so uncanny, but so magical. And the chemistry is only between the two of us. Our boyfriends won’t/don’t get it.

  3. Forgive and Forget
    I have seen how BFFs fight like there’s no tomorrow, yet they manage to “kiss and make up”. In fact, they always do. While the lovin’ and affirmations are a given, we also have the unspoken rules and non-verbal cues of where to draw the line (no carte blanche to walk all over each other without any caution). If one of us makes an honest mistake, admits it and apologises, we forgive, forget and move on with our lives. That being said, we cross our fingers and hearts that we will be extra sensitive and avoid making the same mistakes in future. Peace & love, yo! Because she’s the peanut to my butter, the star to my burst, the pop to my tart, the fruit to my loop, but most importantly, she’s my BFF.

Disclaimer: For the purpose of this article, I’m assuming your BFF is a girl.

Text and image: Melissa Jane Ho

Melissa Jane Ho is a CLEO It Girl finalist. To vote for Melissa, click here.