When we talk about resolutions, most of us would think about gymming more often or saving up more. But resolutions shouldn’t be limited to health and well-being. Why not set relationship goals too? Whether you’re single or in a relationship, setting some resolutions can help you stay on the right path and remind you of what you’re looking for. Here are some achievable ones that you can start off with!
IF YOU’RE SINGLE
- Detox yourself from the past
Go through the list of people in your life (not just your Facebook friend list!) and allow yourself to delete friends, ex-boyfriends and anyone whom you deem to be toxic to you. This can include people who only pop up to criticise, those who are never there when they say they would be and the ones you would hit ‘ignore’ when they call.
- Don’t limit yourself
Stop complaining about how “all the good guys are taken” and start keeping an eye out in places you never thought you’d find love. We’re not talking about clubs or Tinder, we’re talking about festivals, concerts, supermarkets, language classes and house parties. Start saying yes to more invitations from friends, including that blind date. And, oh, ditch those ridiculous deal-breakers!
- Make the first move
It’s 2017! If you see someone you’re attracted to, go up and introduce yourself instead of playing the “is he looking?” game. Even if phone numbers are not exchanged in the end, you would have gained some confidence points and not have any regrets!
- Listen to your instincts
A woman’s instincts are always on the dot! If it tells you that there’s something not quite right about that guy you just met, turn around and run. On the other hand, if it tells you that there is something special lurking beneath that shy exterior, take a leap of faith and open up in conversations. Either way, remember to always stay safe!
- Be yourself – and mean it
From the way you dress (or want to dress during a date), to the way you may curse every now and then, to how goofy you actually are, just be yourself. If he likes you for you, then it’s a relationship worth pursuing. If you don’t hear from him anymore after that, then he’s missing out!
IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP
- Look away from your phone
You know you do it. Automatically and almost non-controllably reaching for your phone like Gollum reaches for the Ring at any idle moment, even when your partner’s with you. Next time you feel that urge while waiting in line for movie tickets or for your food to arrive, why not play a game instead? Before mobile phones, there was tic-tac-toe, hangman, I Spy or simply people-watching!
- Compliment in a different way
It’s always good to compliment and appreciate your partner, but instead of focusing on the end result (e.g. “The cake you made was delicious”), try praising the effort put into it (e.g. “You must be really tired after putting so much time and thought into this delicious cake”). It’s also good to compliment personal interests and personalities (e.g. “I love how passionate you are about historical facts”) to show that you notice and appreciate your partner’s individuality.
- Have communicative arguments
It’s inevitable that couples will argue. It’s a natural part and progress of any relationship, but what can be avoided is thoughtless shouting and finger-pointing. Instead of focusing on what the other person did or didn’t do, go deeper and offer your thoughts and solutions on the matter. Turn arguments into opportunities to communicate our needs and understand those of our partner’s, and the relationship will benefit from each one.
- Up your dating game
Hanging out at shopping malls and watching movies all the time can get pretty monotonous. Scour the internet for new ideas, or look up deal sites for things to try. Think Skytrex Adventure, Dinner in the Sky, stand-up comedies or any of these free romantic date ideas! The goal is to share experiences together to build memories and a stronger bond.
- Get fit – financially
Whether it’s to plan for a holiday or a house, to banish credit card debts or to meet a savings goal, setting financial goals as a couple can be liberating. You can share any financial issues you’ve been dealing with or are stressed about, and take charge of your money together. It can be a relief for both parties as you plan for the future.
Image: Shao-Chun Wang / 123RF.com
Text: CLEO Malaysia