Fake your orgasms sometimes? You’re no outlier. According to a Goodman study from 2017, up to 60 percent of men and women have pretended to climax at least once. The study also found that women are more inclined to fake orgasms than men. But is putting on a show necessarily bad?

“No, but there are bigger things at play,” says Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching. “Like, is your fake orgasm to satisfy his ego?”

Basically, whether or not it’s bad that you’re faking them depends on why you’re faking them. If you do it because it makes things more exciting for you, it’s all good. But if you do it because you don’t want to, say, hurt your partner’s feelings, or because you want to use it to control your partner, then it’s probably doing more harm than good in the long-term.

Want to stop faking your orgasms and achieve real ones instead? Martha says that you can make that happen by learning how to communicate with your partner.

“There’s no good way to come clean with your partner [about how you faked your orgasms]. His feelings can get hurt and the damage can be irreparable.”

“The best way to go about getting what you want in bed is to change the way you talk about what you need in the bedroom. Tell him something along the lines of how your body feels different, or that you’d like to change things up a bit.”