He might appear as the sweetest man you’ve ever met, but at the same time, he blue-ticks you on WhatsApp and does a few things that leave you wondering, “Are we dating or what?” You might be dating a player.
This particular breed of men may well have the gift of the gab but the fall short on their typical moves and predictable one-liners. To avoid future heartbreak as much as possible, here’s our 10 signs that he is a player.
From the get-go, he is very vocal about being non-committal
Or doesn’t want a relationship, or doesn’t want to ‘move too fast’ but yet carries on arranging to see you often. If he liked you enough to deserve your time, he’d make you his for real. This is just his way of preserving his privacy and single life to date others minus any strings.
The diary is a little too packed
One of my ex-players always seemed to be working late or busy, but I never really knew where or why or how. I only seemed to be able to date him every two or three weeks, which I could never understand. If the guy hasn’t the time for you initially, he never will (he’s spreading his time elsewhere, me thinks).
The ex-player was always insisting he’s so busy as work so he can’t call or text, day and night… yet when we were planning to see each other he’d be able to pick up his phone whenever or reply all the time, within minutes. Suss? Of course it was.
His phone is always on silent
This is self-explanatory. My ex explained once his ringtone doesn’t work so he never hears calls… likely story, mate! More like he just didn’t want constant questions from me about why his phone kept ringing after midnight.
I asked the ex-player of mine a few times who he went to watch certain movies with (knowing full well he takes new girls to movies as first dates) and he couldn’t remember who he was with. Fine, if the movie was released in 2010, except it was only nine days ago since I asked him. Stop lying.
This is when they project onto you their own fears or ways. For example, whenever my phone used to go off, the ex-player would remark that I was reading it at an angle away from him, or mess about asking who it was, or commenting that I was always on my phone. This is because he knew what he is up to and assumed I might be the same. Whatever.
He won’t party with you
In this respect I mean, he’ll only organise to see you when it is just you two – albeit dinner or cinema or day trips or sleepovers; any time you suggest meeting his pals, or joining him with your girls on a night out, he doesn’t show or changes plans or just says no, it’s a ‘boy’s night’. Yah… boy’s night to hit on girls perchance? I think so. If he liked you he should be proud to show you off, not hide you away.
Our gut instincts are always right so if you suspect something isn’t quite right, it probably isn’t. Trust yourself.
His social media is either private, or streamed with girls
Sure, he’s a friendly popular bloke but you can’t have that many ‘girl mates’. There must be a reason they all tweet him innuendos, or winks, or suggest hanging out. Social networking sites have killed relationships only because it’s hard to hide the truth when a girl has posted it onto your wall dude.
There are other female items in his car or room
No ladies, they’re not left there by a gal pal (which is the excuse my ex-player first told me about a pair of heels in his back seat!) they’re left there by the last girl he took out on a date. Unfortunately, if you point the offending item out you’ll only be reminding him to be more careful with the evidence next time. Best to not say anything and then just never see him again. You are far better than someone’s side chick plus several others.
Bonus tip: The verbal slip ups
My ex-player had been in my car a few times before, and considering it was bright yellow, it wasn’t one you forget. So when he once turned up and said, “Oh is that your car, for some reason I thought you had a Mini” I was pretty infuriated… because surprise surprise the ‘crazy’ ex girlfriend of his had a Mini. He called her crazy to me when actually he was still dating her and lying about it. Getting us slightly mixed up is an epic fail.
This list could go on and on but I’m frickin’ tired now, so I’ll leave you girls with this: if any of the above points ring alarm bells in your head, listen to your intuition and leave. If you aren’t being treated like the princess you are, leave. If you feel more miserable and sad rather than happy… why have him in your life? Get rid of him.
Text: Nicola Watson / Her World / August 2017
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For more dating stories, read CLEO Asks: Guys Tell Us About Their First Date Red Flags and 8 Signs You’re In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship.