Clara*, you have to look at this person’s Instagram! She has as big a collection of lingerie as you do!” squealed my best friend Mandy over high tea one day. I glanced at Mandy’s phone and she was right—the photos revealed all types of undergarments, from lacy negligees to postage-stamp sized panties. Most were flat-lay shots of the pieces, some which I noted, I had in my own sizeable closet of delicates. Just who was this woman?
Mandy scrolled down the account and there she was; Vicky*, modelling a pair of racy hot shorts. Though all the pictures of Vicky were close-up from – and of – her behind, I could see she was lean and toned, with very good skin. Her proportions looked a little odd, though: “Maybe she’s a body builder,” I thought.
“Looks like she only has a collection to rival my own, and not a pretty face or sexy body. Otherwise, why doesn’t she show it all?” I joked with a tinge of jealousy. “Well, at least she’s letting the world in on what she likes… unlike you,” Mandy retorted.
She was right. Though I’ve collected lingerie since my teens, I never felt the need to show them off on social media—it was oversharing, I felt.
Anyway, I had a loving hubby who supported my obsession. Kitson* was patient in accompanying me on my shopping hunts, both in stores and online, and would not only pay but also advise me on which ones to pick. I took it that he especially liked me wearing them in the bedroom! He was the only man I knew who seemed to have an interest in women’s intimates and not embarrassed by it at all.
Since discovering Vicky’s account, I started “stalking” her, out of a mix of curiosity, jealousy and competitiveness. I did not follow her, as I didn’t want to be known, but instead checked her postings daily. I then noticed something strange… She had some limited-edition collectibles I had bought over the years, with some of her recent purchases being models that I had bought myself.
I figured that Vicky was someone I knew: My help, Rosamie*!
One day I decided to confront her and showed her Vicky’s Instagram page. Rosamie only laughed. “Mam, I wish my body is as good as Vicky’s, but I’m not her,” she said. That’s true, I thought, as Rosamie had tanned skin, and was short and stout. In between her giggles, Rosamie wondered out aloud: “Why doesn’t she show her face? She doesn’t want to be known—maybe she’s like a celebrity with a secret… or someone’s mistress?”
Mistress. “That must be it,” I thought. “My hubby Kitson, must be having an affair!”
That night, I threw my phone at Kitson. “Is this your mistress? Have you been buying… no, giving away my precious underwear… to this other woman?” Kitson looked at me red-faced, and said calmly: “Dear, it’s not what you think… that’s me in the photos.”
Kitson went on to explain that he liked lingerie, and in fact took to wearing women’s shorts as they felt comfortable, thought that they fit him better, and made him feel sexy.
Kitson revealed that he just wanted to show off the collection that he had a hand in “curating”, without being ridiculed by his mates. Since he knew his “social media unfriendly” wife would disagree to setting up such an account, he did it himself, under the alter-ego of Vicky—and he only took those butt-fies to tease the followers. There was no other underlying reason for doing so, and he asked for my understanding and forgiveness… to which I responded with a laughing fit.
After I settled down, I told him that I was actually relieved, and was fine with him wearing some of my undergarments if they suited him. I was more than happy that he was sharing my hobby: And to be so sure of himself whilst doing so just made him a hot hubby! I was just angry at him for keeping this a secret from me.
From that night on, Vicky was no more. We abandoned the fake account and set up another private one which we shared with fellow collectors and friends about our “co-curated” selection of favourite pieces and novelty finds, which was more informative and less focused on just “showing off”. So far, we have remained undecided on butt-fies and selfies—we are still working out whose butt is the better one!
*Names have been changed to protect identity.
Text: The Singapore Women’s Weekly / July 2018