First up: A sex fantasy is not necessarily something you want to do in real life – in fact, it might freak you out! Your sex fantasies are more like elaborate codes. They point to your feelings about your life, and these desires are hidden beneath the images you’re seeing in your head. Here’s what they may really be saying.

Group sex
Ironically, it means you’re probably pretty shy in real life and you wish you had the courage to show more of “your real self” to people. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you yearn to take part in an orgy – the image is just your brain’s way of shocking you so you’ll pay attention. It’s saying, “Deep down, you wish you had the courage to strip away the pretence and ‘reveal’ your authentic self.”

Public sex/Exhibitionism
If your dreams involves you doing it in a carpark or on the beach, you’re likely a risk-taker in real life. The idea of “getting away” with something is exciting to you, but this is one fantasy that you shouldn’t make a reality. After all, engaging in sexual activities in public is punishable by law.

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Sex with a celebrity
This can simply mean you fancy them! But it can also mean you want to “be them” or have some aspect of their personality or life for yourself. For example, perhaps you wish you had Rihanna’s self-belief or Katy Perry’s sunny optimism/ Sex with a celebrity is also a way of creating some distance from reality – does your life feel out of control right now?

Role play
You’re tired of being too responsible or playing by the rules all the time, so picturing yourself differently from your real life gives you a sense of freedom.

Extracted from Don’t Have Sex Again Until You Read This Book, by Carole Altman, available at

Image: Dmitriy Shironosov /