You’ve had a good dinner and the next step is, well, home. But is he thinking the same thing? Rob Moran clues you in.
10.05pm: “Quick, she’s gonna go home… suggest something fun!”
Guys rarely plan this far ahead; all our brainpower was spent on suggesting drinks and dinner.
This is when we suggest going to another bar for a drink (the ‘extended social lubrication’ plan), a club (the ‘maybe we can dance real close’ plan), or a romantic stroll (the ‘she’ll be more likely to kiss me if we’re quiet and alone’ plan).
10.25pm: “Holding hands is kinda weird on a first date, isn’t it? Just leave it, dude…”
By this time of the night, you should be able to tell whether the guy’s into you or not. He’ll probably start leaning in closer so you brush arms while you walk, maybe even doing some half-tipsy, Channing Tatum squinty eyes thing in your direction to show you he wants to kiss you (I don’t know why we squint).
11.56pm: “Waiting for taxis sucks. Do I try and kiss her now, or is that creepy? Uh, let’s just see what she does…”
It’s OK, unless the guy’s a total douchebag, he won’t make a move until you bat your eyelids at him, pull him by the collar, and stick your tongue in his mouth. Your move, ladies.
11.59pm: “Argh, she’s doing it! This is awesome! I wanna make out all night!
It’s OK to put my hand here, right? Don’t do anything creepy! Be normal!”
12.01am: “Oh wait… she’s stopping? She’s getting in the taxi?… Well, that was nice. Guess I don’t have to get naked tonight…”
12.24am: “Is it weird to text her now? Whatever, I’m texting her.”
Which could go either way – either we’ll spill some tipsy-fuelled nonsense, or our senses will kick in and we’ll say, ‘Hey, I had a fun night, call you tomorrow.’ Then we’ll lie awake in bed for two hours, thinking about the night, our minds in a joyous whirly reverie, our pants stuck in Bonerville.
2.10am: “I think I might masturbate furiously now.”
Congratulations, you now know the male mind.
Image: Pavel Ilyukhin / 123RF.com
Text: Rob Moran
Additional text: Hidayah Idris