Ever attended an office party and thought, “I wish I was drunk enough for this”? Yeah, us too. As much as exchanging polite pleasantries and engaging in mundane small talk isn’t anyone’s favourite thing to do, it’s all still bearable—and sometimes actually enjoyable—until something goes horribly and terribly wrong.
Everyone probably have attended a mediocre work party that they couldn’t wait to escape from, but some of you might have had to endure really awful ones where you wanted nothing more than to bolt out the door. Eight girls share their stories about the worst office parties they’ve ever attended and why they wouldn’t quite want a repeat.
Since it’s the holiday season, we’ll leave you with their stories as you brace yourself for another round of work-related functions. We wish you the best of luck, and may none of your office parties turn out to be like these ones!
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“In order to have a little bonding session, we huddled together to watch a movie for Christmas one year. The team ended up choosing an R-rated comedy and it became super awkward because there were so many sexual scenes. I watched most of the movie in awkward silence.”
– Elise, 26
Too close for comfort
“My boss insisted on a horror-themed escape room activity for Christmas, and I was totally dreading it because I heard it was legitimately scary. It ended up being terrifying, but what was worse was the lack of personal space in the tiny room because she kept holding on to me and a female colleague. When it was over, I felt more drained from being in such close proximity with a frantic boss than from all the jump scares.”
– Lorraine, 28
Lace and leather
“We had a D&D with a lace and leather theme, and as part of the dinner programme, the committee hired this group of dancers who came out wearing S&M-looking outfits. They danced quite raunchily and the girls looked like they were giving lap dances to the guys. It was awkward because the bosses were sitting right in front.”
– Sarah*, 28
*Name has been changed upon request.
“At a company chalet that was meant for team-bonding, one of the girls got really drunk and started hitting on other guys, including some of our colleagues’ partners. I guess she ended up bonding with many people, but it wasn’t fun for the rest of us who had to watch her inappropriate behaviour all night.”
– Kimberly, 27
Oops, wrong birthday!
“We threw a birthday party for a colleague at a mini-golfing place, but everyone was so busy the day before that the discussion about getting a cake fizzled out in the group chat without a conclusion. When the mini-golfing staff brought over a birthday cake, everyone assumed someone within the group arranged it and automatically broke out in song. We were also wondering why the girls at another table kept glaring at us. Turns out it was their cake, but by the time they got someone to stop us, our birthday boy had already cut it. We felt really bad.”
– Jerilyn, 29
By invitation only
“I was on internship overseas, and got an invitation to what I thought was a New Year’s Eve work party. My friend and I turned up at the given address only to realise it was an orgy when they started asking people to gather round and kinda briefed us on how it works. We ran off as fast as we could.”
– Jade, 25
“We had a new team leader who was rather rude and tended to talk down to the team on a regular basis. During his first office party, he kept shifting conversations towards work until it turned into a sort of impromptu goal-setting discussion that no one asked for or was interested in. And he spoke to us in his usual condescending tone the whole time.”
– Amanda, 29
Please clean up after yourselves
“There was a celebratory party in the office on a Friday night, and somebody puked all over the toilet floor but nobody bothered to clean it up. It was left there the entire weekend, and when we came back on Monday, the whole place smelled really bad.”
– Sonia, 28
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Images: Unsplash, 123RF.com
Text: Sally Tan