Everything you do, she can do better. She makes it their life goal to match up to you—or surpass you. It’s as if she’s in a rat race and you’re the finishing line. But, like the finishing line, you’re not moving because you don’t see the point of this mindless competition.
Yet, a one-upper will constantly try to prove that her life is better than yours; that she is more privileged. How do you deal with her besides telling her the overused phrase, “If you say so”?
1. Acknowledge her and change the subject
She just want to be heard, so let her know that you’ve listened to her story. Be swift in changing the topic lest she launches into a dramatic sob story. If she has a comeback for everything, try ceasing the conversation by suggesting that you listen to music or watch a movie—or any activity that requires her auditory attention.
2. Don’t try to change her
Tried and tested, it’s never gonna work. She’ll only become more hostile and might even start doing it deliberately just to annoy you. You wouldn’t want anyone to try and change your personality, so don’t go around trying to change others.
3. Put yourself in her shoes
This might be hard to do because you might think, “I would never do that,” but try to understand why she’s acting that way. Sure, she wants attention and want people to think she’s better than everyone. But what’s the actual reason? Most of the time, it stems from insecurity. So if you can’t help her in that department, leave her be.
4. Don’t let them affect you
A better-than can be really annoying, and she can even make you feel inadequate by hinting that you’re not good enough. However, don’t let her lead you into thinking that you’re weak. After all, that’s her goal. If need be, avoid contact with her.
5. Talk to her
If the one-upper happens to be your BFF, talk to her and let her know how you feel, and how all these are affecting you. If she decides to tone it down, great. If she doesn’t, leave her be. You have a choice, after all: Ignore her or leave.
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