“If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”
That line from Love, Actually is obviously how some of us would like our love life to be, but sometimes, it ain’t that easy. Dating can be frustrating, especially when it seems like the perfect person for you—the one meant to be your other half—is simply nowhere to be found. But what does it take for you to find The One? Our astrologer reckons it could be something as simple as making tweaks in your life, based on your star sign. Wondering what you can do to up your chances at love and finally find your man?
Read on for tips that could just turn your love life from meh to a-meh-zing.
Text: Renaye Chan of Alchemy Consultancy Services
Additional text: Zoe Zeng
Image: Shutterstock, Pexels
Slow your roll
Who doesn’t love the fiery and excitable nature of an Aries individual? Their passion and burning ambition are what makes them so attractive in the first place. However, sometimes they’re so focused on getting ahead, that they leave behind what’s important in their life. Not everyone can keep up with an Aries’ speed all the time. Instead of rushing to the next big milestone of success on your own, take your time to stop and smell the roses. You’d have a better chance of seeing all the opportunities for love around you.
Learn to listen
Listening isn’t just about hearing the words someone is saying. It’s about sitting down and understanding and empathising with what they’re saying. Aries individuals love it when they can find someone who’s willing to listen to them talk about their interesting hobbies and powerful ideas. So, they should know how impactful it would be to return this favour. Instead of taking over a topic, have a conversation. you should get to know people, instead of just trying to get people to know you. Simply listening can be a powerful tool in finding and forming connections.
Compromise is key
The stubborn ram likes to hold its ground and remain on the path it has made for itself. This isn’t a bad trait, but the ‘my way or the highway’ mentality can make forming relationships difficult. Aries individuals don’t need to completely drop their values and comply to someone else’s wishes, but they must learn to compromise. Give in where they can and give everybody a little of what they want instead of butting heads and setting off an argument. Being equals in a decision can be much more fun than dominating all choices.
Tips for the year
Aries individuals have always been in sync with their emotions, but that connection takes on a whole new level this year. You feel like you can finally understand and deal with your strong emotions. You will find that there is nothing to fear in terms of completely embracing that emotional side of yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ll be a pushover in a relationship though. On the contrary, once you start understanding yourself, you’ll start understanding what you deserve in love. And it is up to you to start guiding and nurturing the relationship to best suit your desires and create something fruitful for everyone.
Effort over materials
Make no mistake, Taurians can be absolute romantics, pulling out all the stops when they feel like it. However, when the honeymoon period is over or when Taurians get out of the game, they can be notoriously lazy. There’s nothing wrong with being contented, but Taurians can become so contented, they don’t want to try for romance. They may substitute affection with gifts or material treats. To a Taurus, spending is a sign of love, but not everyone may feel this way. They should remember that they need to put in actual effort into finding or keeping love.
Forget the checkbox
‘A good listener, likes children and long walks on the beach.’ Sounds familiar? Taurians have a whole list of traits they have written down somewhere for what they look for in a partner. And they refuse to settle for anything less than what they want. However, sometimes, they don’t really know exactly what they want. A person could be completely opposite to their expectations, but still form a meaningful and loving connection with them. Taurians should avoid being so strict with their standards. Give people a chance even if they don’t fit their ideal mould.
A little bit of possessiveness can be what makes a Taurian so sexy and attractive, but everything in moderation. Jealousy can rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time, making it difficult for Taurians to even begin forming connections. Instead of seeing people as enemies or challengers for someone’s attention, they should consider everyone as an opportunity to connect. Taurians should open themselves up and put their best foot forward instead of becoming guarded. It will make the journey to finding love much easier.
Tips for the year
It’s time for Taurians to start blossoming and branching out this year. You will find a lot of success in your social and family life, but you will always yearn for something more. Whether it’d be growing closer to your current loved ones or seeking out passion and romance in the world, the best way to do it is to try something new. Let down your walls. Try new hobbies, travel to new places or attend gatherings you haven’t attended before. Wherever you go or whatever you do, ensure you’re enjoying yourself, because your happiness matters the most.
Love is timeless
‘I’m too young to settle down,’ says a Geminian before he or she gets back to the party. ‘I’m too old for romance,’ says the same Geminian a few years later while relaxing at home. There will never be a time when Geminians believe they are ready to start loving or finding serious relationships. The problem is that there is no specific time for love. They end up restricting themselves by believing they’re too late or too early. Geminians should stop defining love with age and just get up and go out looking for it instead.
Commitment to cause
Wild and free, Geminians are a whirlwind, brimming with intellect and fast paced ideas. This is what makes so many people attracted to them but it can also be what turns them off in the long run. A whirlwind can never keep what it captures. Geminians can be wonderful lovers, but they may fear letting themselves become trapped in any relationship. So, they tend to avoid any serious commitments even if that’s what they want. It takes a strong relationship to get them to make that leap, but even then, they may hesitate. All they really need is that push to commit to love.
Don’t ever settle
It’s natural to have certain expectations when it comes to love, but Geminians are one of the few who constantly doubt their own expectations. It seems impossible to find someone who can keep up with your wit and desire for experience and travel. Rest assured that there is someone out there who will fulfil a Geminian’s needs and passion. Geminians just need to keep persevering and believing in having their needs answered. This doesn’t mean to look for someone who is perfect, but just for someone who can fulfil you intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.
Tips for the year
2019 is a bit of a transformative year for Geminians. Surprisingly, in order to move forward in love, you will likely have to make peace with your past hang ups or grievances. This is the time where you will start to let go of relationship baggage or rekindle relationships long since passed. It is not an easy period, but it is a necessary one for many Geminians to grow and blossom into maturity. Take things slowly and do not be afraid to stop and reflect on yourself or others. There will still be many instances of new relationships and bright periods to keep you on your feet this year.
Release the past
Everyone has some form of baggage from their past, especially in the form of past relationships or hang ups. Cancerians are more likely to hold onto these previous relationships though. Small comments or remarks can leave deep impactful marks on a Cancerian. These can make them reluctant to find or commit to new relationships. It is important they realise the past doesn’t reflect who they are today, and that they must learn to make peace with and let go of their regrets or grievances. This is how they can move forward and find love.
You deserve love
Despite all their empathy, charity and care, Cancerians have it in their heads that they don’t deserve the kind of love they want. This insecurity can become a blockage in their path to find love. They may force themselves to settle for less. Everyone is deserving of love and happiness though. Cancerians need to understand that they shouldn’t be afraid of stepping out and taking that love for themselves. Once they realise that they are deserving of all the love they receive, more of that love will find its way into their lives.
Sulking isn’t communication
Some Cancerians might be quick to say that they don’t sulk. However, when they’re angry, it’s hard to deny that they get into a bit of a sullen mood where they don’t feel like talking or even interacting with anyone. This can make whatever problem they’re suffering through worse though. When it comes to love, communication is vital. Instead of clamming up, consider stating aloud how you feel and why you feel this way. The moment they start this habit, they will realise that love has been trying to find them all this time, instead of the other way around.
Tips for the year
This year is all about growth and expansion for Cancerians. This is the year where you should really push to move forward. However, be cautious about approaching things aggressively. Fights and conflicts will be extremely impactful, so it’s best not to get into them. Instead, move forward steadily and keep doing so, no matter what happens. Cancerians who can weather out the difficult periods dotted throughout this year will find success and prosperity for themselves.
Build the best
Leos make strong, loyal and loving companions. They have many strengths and are passionate about whatever they take on. So, what is the obstacle? Well, surely the cream of the crop only deserves the best of the best. Leos expect their partners to recognise their abilities. However, they forget that admiration and acknowledgement take time to build. While someone can certainly admire them on first meeting, that full acknowledgement and understanding of a Leo’s skills takes time. Instead of being so quick to reject someone, Leos need to understand that they need time for someone to fully know them.
Needs over wants
Naturally, the king of the savannah wants someone who can suit their high stature and accomplishments. What they need though, is someone who can peer past the curtain of their confidence ever so often and see the more vulnerable sides of them. Someone who can return their affections and give them the comfort they need in times of stress. It is important they never put priority of their wants over their needs, or else they will be looking for love in all the wrong places.
Face to face
Internet dating is more popular than ever. While it is convenient and can help people meet across long distances, it can never substitute for a face to face conversation. Leos shine best when they can see and gauge their audience. People, in turn, can get the raw power and majesty Leos exude when they can see them in person. Written words can be easily misinterpreted or twisted, but no one will ever doubt the passion and attractiveness of a Leo they see in real life.
Tips for the year
The fiery flames of Leos take on a slower burn this year when it comes to finding love. They are more focused on internal growth and spirituality. You should go down this path if you are seeking for love, as those with a similar mindset of spiritual growth and pursuit of some form of enlightenment will connect with you best. Avoid the temptation of material indulgences or people promising things that are too good to be true. 2019 is the time to go slow in love, but it will keep that flame burning for years to come.
Land on stars
Everyone has expectations, but Virgos tend to expect the sun, moon and stars when it comes to their partner. They’ve either dreamed of their perfect soulmate or compiled a whole list of what exactly their ideal partner should be like. Sadly, they only follow half of the phrase; “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”. They keep their eyes so focused on reaching the moon, they don’t realise what a gift it is to meet someone when they land on the stars.
Focus on now
“Do they like me? What if they’re the one? Do I like them?” All these questions run through a Virgo’s mind even though they appear completely cool and collected on the surface. This outward cool demeanour has come in handy for Virgoans from time to time. However, it can work against them by coming off as frigidness, disinterest or coldness even to those whom they are interested in. Instead of wondering whether they like someone, they should just focus on the moment itself and find out naturally over time. Turn off the brain, smile and focus on the now instead of the what if.
Break the routine
Some Virgoans are lucky, being able to find love in their everyday routine. However, if love hasn’t yet blossomed, then it may be time to shake up the routine. Virgoans will find the most opportunities for love when they break away from their heavily scheduled lives and experience something new. Be it a new hobby, sport or location, Virgoans will not only have a higher potential for love, but also have more chances to socialise and break their shells.
Tips for the year
Virgoans, once content with staying in their usual routine or not seeking out love, will find that mindset drastically changed this year. There is an itch you need to scratch this year, in the form of breaking out of your usual schedule. A passionate flame bursts back into your life. And while you may get too close to the heat every now and then, you should embrace this new rush of adrenaline. Love comes quick and burns brightly, so keep an eye out for it. Couples will find the spark that first brought them together again.
Face your conflicts
Libra is a sign of balance. They seek out harmonious relationships and tend to avoid conflicts or arguments. However, a relationship completely free of strife or obstacles isn’t completely balanced. Libras tend to turn tail and run the moment they catch hint of an approaching argument, even if it is a minor issue or worse; a necessary discussion. Storms make the way for clear skies after all. Conflicts can strengthen and build on a relationship, but only if Libras can learn to face them instead of running away.
Embrace second chances
Let’s be honest, nobody starts out a perfect person. Even the ever-elegant Libra has made some mistakes in finding love. However, the obstacles lie in when Libras hold themselves so strictly to the mistakes of their past. They refuse to give themselves a second chance or confront their past flames. They can’t forgive themselves even when someone has already let such mistakes go. Sometimes, love can only be found in the future after the past has been revisited. Libras should learn to make peace with their past baggage.
Third party perspectives
Libras always have some romantic idea about what they want or need. While romance is definitely a must in any relationship they get into, it is not enough to fulfil a Libra completely. Sometimes their own daydreams and fantasies of love get in the way of what they really need to look for. Luckily, Libras are such an open book that it can help to ask for someone else’s opinion on what they should look for in a potential partner.
Tips for the year
2019 is a thought-provoking year for Libras. Many are beginning to settle into their own. Attached Libras will work on their relationships and single Libras will focus on self-improvement. Love is still as important to you as ever, but it comes in many forms. This is something Libras come to understand this year. And once you do, you will find a whole new perspective on love that leads you to find self fulfilment and happiness. There is nothing more attractive than a Libra who loves himself or herself, as well as those around them, to the fullest extent.
‘It’s called being realistic,’ Scorpios insist when someone calls them out on their ‘glass half empty’ mentality. However, even Scorpios must realise sometimes that their reason and logic borders into pessimism. Scorpios tend to pick up all the flaws when first meeting someone, or start envisioning all the difficulties a relationship might go through before it even starts. Sometimes, Scorpios just need a little faith and to take a risk when it comes to love. Sometimes, the glass is more full than they think.
Again, Scorpios would deny that they ever get jealous or envious over their partner or other relationships. However, Scorpios’ exquisite passion and strong attachment is what make them fear being left behind. Most of the time though, these fears are unfounded, and they are being too restrictive on potential partners. They must learn to give love some freedom and not always compare their relationships to others. Once they let go of this jealousy and envy, then will there be room for love.
Break down walls
Walls are there for a reason. They can protect and shield from external dangers, but they also keep things out; be it love or someone who genuinely cares. There is a vulnerability to Scorpios that they refuse to let others see. Scorpios must learn that they need not tear down all their walls, but instead, make it so there’s a door to their inner castle that they can let others in when needed.
Tips for the year
2019 is the perfect time for Scorpios to let down their walls and finally open up to those around them. It is a comfortable and beautiful time to reflect about all the good things that have happened to you in love. However, you must still be careful about the temptation to be pessimistic or envious and jealous of others. Once you go over what you have though, you’ll realise there is no reason for you to be suspicious of anyone or afraid of the love they’re trying to give you. Instead, welcome love with open arms and give back the same love to those that have always supported and encouraged you.
Taming restless souls
Living the domestic dream with a small cozy house, predictable partner and a stable life that is set in routine — this is a dream to many people but can be a nightmare to Sagittarians. This fiery sign needs a challenge when it comes to love. They can be so afraid of the prospect of a ‘boring’ romance, they actively avoid anyone who doesn’t immediately excite them. A bit of domesticity isn’t bad though and Sagittarians can be too quick to judge a soul. Sometimes, they need to tame down their restlessness for a bit to really get to know someone before making a decision.
Seek out excitement
Sagittarians love excitement and they would love if a partner can match their level of adrenaline and need for stimulation. So the simplest solution to find love, is to take on more exciting hobbies or activities. Meeting someone while doing what one loves isn’t simply a plot in a novel. They have a higher chance of meeting like-minded people. And, the shared boost of adrenaline is scientifically proven to help strengthen and make relationships last longer. Any Sagittarian simply sitting at home lazily relaxing and dreaming of love, it’s time to make a move now!
Watch your tongue
Sagittarians are often the life and joy of any party or social gathering, but sometimes their party flame can end up burning others around them. Sagittarians never seek to indirectly insult someone, most preferring a more direct method. However, they can end up insulting someone without meaning to or making a joke that can make others uncomfortable. This can prove an obstacle when trying to find love, especially if they scare off potential partners before even getting to know them. Simply, thinking before they speak can make a big improvement in their number of relationships.
Tips for the year
Sagittarians finally give into the call of domesticity that they’ve been trying to resist all the while. Surprisingly, it’s not so bad.Many Saggitarians are starting to think that there may actually be something positive to settling down. That doesn’t mean there won’t be excitement or surprises this year, it just means that you will view it all in a more mature light. You’re starting to understand love isn’t just some thrilling game or exciting past time. Instead, you are beginning to realise what an important role it plays in one’s life and how it can really transform someone for the better. This is a blessed time.
Spice it up
Capricorns like routine and predictability. This is good when it comes to career or finances, but romance should always have a bit of a spark. People often fall under the impression that Capricorns are boring. That is not true, but Capricorns have a hard time showing their fun side. They worry too much about stability and keeping everyone around them secure. It helps if they can be reminded to let down their hair every so often and let their wild side loose. Not only can they surprise their partners, but it’ll keep a relationship solid for years to come.
Always make time
Business meetings, presentations, project deadlines — it never seems to end for the hard-working Capricorn, however, most of the time, they’re making themselves busy. While anyone can appreciate perseverance, love requires some time and attention itself. Capricorns might be frustrated themselves, thinking love is taking away necessary career time. However, if they change their views and treat their relationships with the same mentality and passion as their careers, they can see that its returns are just as fruitful as monetary gains or bonuses.
Compromise if possible
The goat on the mountain can be rather stubborn. Capricorns often see their way as the ‘best’ way. While their logic is almost infallible and they are great planners, Capricorns may not consider another’s feelings. Love isn’t just about experiencing the most but experiencing the most together. In order to do that, Capricorns need to learn to lower their horns every so often and be willing to give into their partner. They can still make use of all their planning skills and logic, but they need to do it with another’s own desires in mind.
Tips for the year
Capricorn should be ready for this year. Saturn pushes itself into their 7th house, bringing about challenges and potential obstacles. Relationships that can weather through the storm will come out stronger and much more open. However, that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy to get through the year. You will need to employ all your logic to situations that may not always be logical or even practical. People will be your biggest obstacle and asset. Remember though, that what they are depends on how you handle and speak to them. Gather support from your loved ones and you will find yourself able to move forward with love more easily.
Be an individual
Many Aquarians can dream of finding romance but are too afraid of losing themselves to pursue one. Aquarians fear that in committing themselves to someone, they won’t be able to follow any of their dreams or ideas. However, even though it takes two to be in a relationship, they should realise they do not need to give up their individuality. In fact, they should look out for other strongly independent and individualistic people who understand the need to pursue one’s own goals, instead of shying away from a relationship all together.
Connect to intellect
Aquarians may not always know what exactly they’re looking for in love. This can make finding love difficult in the first place. As a very smart and intellectual sign though, Aquarians should focus on connecting with individuals who match their thought levels. Taking part in activities that require concentration or mental fortitude, such as attending debate clubs or taking part in escape room groups, will increase the chances of finding love. Aquarius relationships that have a strong mental connection will last longer as well.
Affection through space
Aquarians may come off as very loving signs as first, and they are, but they tend not to like being smothered. To them, affection comes in the form of being allowed their own room to breathe and space to think. Because of this, they may think they aren’t suited to a relationship. Many relationships don’t always express affection physically or verbally though. What is important is that Aquarians not be ashamed of their preferences. Instead, they should focus on seeking out like-minded people who won’t be bothered by lack of affection through conventional means.
Tips for the year
Aquarians hold the reigns of love when it comes to 2019. As you start coming into yourself, you’re starting to realise what you want and how to handle your relationships. Those who have been too afraid to seek love, will suddenly realise that they have nothing to fear. The world is an open book for them to conquer and love is just another part of their journey. However, with your newfound fire, you should be careful not to burn too brightly, lest you burn others. Don’t steamroll a relationship. Stand your ground without pushing down others and taking their ground as well.
Put yourself first
Pisceans always feel the need to set everyone else’s happiness and feelings as their top priority. Sometimes, they get so involved trying to help others find love, that they forget to find love for themselves. There is nothing wrong with being a little selfish and focusing on your own wants and needs. This may seem like a strange first step to find love, but it is a necessary one. It is time Pisceans start putting themselves first, instead of letting others take up all their time and energy. A single night of making their own decisions for their own betterment can change everything.
You are valued
A constant obstacle for Pisceans is their own self-esteem. It is best if they can meet someone who can show them just how valued and wonderful, they are. However, that person won’t just come along if they don’t start valuing their own abilities. Pisceans have many qualities that make them attractive to those around them, but they often don’t see it. Even worse, they may think they don’t deserve the love they’re entitled to. Pisceans needs to learn to value themselves and make sure others know they aren’t just a common catch. After all, self-confidence is another very attractive trait.
Stand your ground
As stated above, sometimes Pisceans feel like they don’t deserve affection, attention or love in proper capacities. Some people can take advantage of Pisceans’ kind and generous nature, especially when it comes to romance. Finding love means finding someone who won’t try to manipulate Pisceans into something they aren’t. That’s why it’s important they learn to stand their grounds and show they aren’t weak or easily pushed over. It’s not just about finding love, it’s also about avoiding falling into relationships that are less than ideal.
Tips for the year
Pisceans make leaps and bounds when it comes to love in 2019. This year is all about you coming out of your shell and forming more relationships and bonds with others. In order to find love, you need to increase the amount of opportunities you have. That means socialising more by attending more activities, hangouts or functions. Shake up your usual routine and do something exciting to spice up your weekends. Break out of your normalcy to find something exciting and fresh for yourself in love and romance.