Don’t really have much of a sex drive? You’re hardly alone. The Durex Global Sex Survey found that younger Singaporeans get it on just 120 times a year, which is less than people of any other country.
But here’s the good news: a low libido isn’t something you’ve to live with. According to Dr Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching, it can be boosted.
For a start, you can allow yourself to fantasise.
“Desire may not always occur spontaneously, especially if you’re feeling tired or stressed. Give yourself permission to use your sexual imagination,” she says. “Better yet, get your partner to read you a juicy passage from an erotic novel. Have some laughs and break the ice. The idea is to have fun.”
She also recommends getting in the mood by unwinding with a long bath and caressing yourself slowly to prepare your body for sex. Basically, you’ve got to make time for the deed.
“We make time for what’s important. Pencil sex into your schedule and prepare yourself mentally, emotionally and even physically for it as you would a date. By being more prepared, you and your partner can be assured of a better experience.”
Dr Lee adds that while there are many different causes of low sex drive, the most common one is fatigue.
“Fatigue and emotional overload are very real stresses that can affect a woman’s libido. Issues such as losing a job, financial trouble or relationship problems can dramatically decrease her sex drive,” she says. “Women tend to respond differently to stress and sex from men. Women usually have lower sex drives when they are under stress, while men typically use sex as a way to reduce stress.”
She’s got five tips on how you can still please your man even if you don’t usually feel like getting down and dirty. Scroll the gallery to check them out.
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