Let’s be honest: spontaneous sex is the best kind of sex. After all, an element of surprise is always exciting. But that’s not to say scheduled sex is unsexy. In fact, according to Dr Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching, it’s anything but.
“Is it unsexy to schedule movie night and buy the tickets in advance? Is it unsexy to spend months or years preparing for a wedding? I cite these examples because how we see scheduled sex is more about our attitudes than anything else,” says Dr Lee.
“Planning and preparation build excitement and anticipation, so why shouldn’t the same be done for sex?”
“Besides, without some planning, we won’t be able to get the lingerie, lube and sex toy out. Without some effort, sex is more likely to not happen at all,” she adds.
But just because scheduled sex can be fun doesn’t mean it will be easy. After all, we are all realllly busy people.
“Most couples find it challenging to schedule time for date nights and sex as they have to juggle familial obligations, work deadlines and even travel plans. But this is exactly why it’s important that we make a conscious effort to block time for our relationship,” says Dr Lee.
“It’s easier to follow the tide than to go against the grind. We make time and space for what is important, and your relationship is important.”
Want some tips on scheduling sex and making scheduled sex sexy? Here are five tips from Dr Lee.