What do you look for in a man? There are some things that are defo relationship deal-breakers, including cheating, gaslighting and lying.
But sometimes, we take things to far by saying, “I can’t date you unless you have nice teeth”, or even “You wanna date me? You gotta have a degree.”
Whatever happened to accepting our differences?
Having standards is one thing, but having ridiculously high standards is another. If you’re hoping to find a guy who fits every criteria in your checklist, here’s the bad news: You probably won’t be able to find one. (If you did, congrats!) But you can find love if you start looking deeper, beyond physical appearances or traits and stop obsessing over checking off your list of “traits he must have”.
- Examine your Standard Spectrum
Having a clear idea of what you want from a boyfriend isn’t just great, it’s essential. “Some things, like drug use, are non-negotiable deal-breakers for women and that’s perfectly fine,” says Frances Amaroux, relationship expert at lovecoaching.com. But what’s not so great are standards that are at the shallower end of the spectrum. “A lot of women fuss over things that aren’t as important as they think they are. As a result, they’re not looking for vital things, like character,” Amaroux explains.
- Be flexible
While it’s great to strive for perfection, here’s a reality check: there’s no such thing as the perfect man. Upsetting? Absolutely. End of the world? No. “Having fussy dating deal-breakers means you’re going to miss out on a pile of people who could make really lovely partners,” Amaroux explains. Being flexible with the guys you date opens up greater possibilities of finding The One — if anything, you don’t have much to lose!
- Look in the mirror
While you’re probably perfect in every way, there’s a chance you might (gasp!) have qualities that aren’t exactly alluring to others. It could be your taste in music — if a guy refused to date you because you love Britney Spears, would you be offended? You probably would, so keep an open mind and you might snag a great guy. His so-called flaws might even turn out to be endearing.
Image: imagesbavaria / 123RF.com
Text: Edwina Carr
Additional text: Clara How, Hidayah Idris