We know, we know—our mums always tell us not talk with our mouth fulls. But when you’re in the act of giving your man a blow job, it can be awkward when it’s all crickets (and groans). Many of us get shy when it comes to dirty talk, unsure of what to say to turn your partner on or maybe you’re too busy working Mr Eggplant down there that you just can’t multitask.
We don’t blame you—they don’t call it a job for nothing. But sometimes, an unexpected trash talking can really heat things up several notches. Look no further for how to muster the courage to be a master linguist.
1. Say my name
Yes, it’s that simple—start by addressing your man (not his member) and telling him how much you like feeling how hard he is in your mouth. Throw in some appreciative oohs and aahs as you alternate between licking him and using your hands.
The Don’t: Never, ever name a guy’s private part—that’s just weird.
2. Keep it real
No one said that talking dirty means you have to turn into a foul-mouthed Cardi B that would require loads of mouthwash after. You want to be you, not scare your man off. So start by telling him how much you love going down on him, how wet it makes you and what you want him to do with you after. It will drive him wild—guaranteed.
The Don’t: Talk in third person—there are only two people involved in this sex sesh, so be cool.
3. Make eye contact
Take our word for it: your guy will love it when you’re looking up directly into his eyes, while taking him in your mouth. Sometimes just that alone conveys a thousand words to his brain. The most opportune moment to look him in the eye is when you’re deep throating him, and when you stop for air, say: “I love it when I can feel you hitting my throat.” Slam dunk.
The Don’t: Stare at him without breaking eye contact the whole time. It’s a bit scary when you’re all bugged eye for five mins straight.
4. Flip the tables
Look, we’re all about fairness so if you and your man are going to be partaking in the act of dirty talking, we’d expect you to ask him to return the favour too. So the next time he’s going south for a dive, ask him to tell him what he likes about having sex with you. Yank his hair a little or grab the side of his head to pull him closer to your pelvis and grind softly into his mouth when he says things that you like hearing.
The Don’t: Let him call you names that make you feel uncomfortable. Set boundaries with your man so he doesn’t disrespect you and vice versa.
Text: Alicia Tan