Think you can’t have an orgasm without a partner? Think again.
It’s only in the past few decades—with the publication of books like Germaine Greer’s The Female Eunuch—that female orgasms have been considered an important element of sexual relationships. Before that, a woman’s sexual pleasure was a mystery—even to themselves.
We didn’t talk about sex and orgasms as openly as men did, and we weren’t really encouraged to explore our own bodies and sexualities. Some 15 years ago, even buying sex toys in Singapore was practically impossible (I had three vibrators confiscated by Singpost in the early 2000s!).
These days, however, we women expect to orgasm when we have sex, and we’re a bit more vocal about our needs, wants and desires as well. While it’s good that women’s orgasms are being spoken of, discussion about the female orgasm is a bit misleading. As women, we are capable of many different types of orgasm, and they all feel a bit different, too.
Here are 10 types of orgasm you can treat yourself to—with or without the help of a sex toy. Of course, it’s a bit more fun to enjoy them with the help and co-operation of a willing, enthusiastic partner.
The Cerebral Orgasm
This is the type of orgasm that I have referred to, for many years, as the laziest orgasm possible. It requires nothing more than a bit of time and your imagination. All you need to do is think sexy thoughts and allow your imagination free reign to take you over the edge of sexual pleasure. If you prefer, phone sex can have the same effect, provided you stick to just talking about it.
OK, I’m calling this the ‘D’—for deep—spot rather than the ‘P’—for Posterior-Fornix—spot, because a ‘P-spot’ doesn’t sound quite as nice, does it?
As the name suggests, this spot is on the back wall of the vagina. If you find your cervix first, and then move your finger (or vibe) down towards your vaginal opening, along the back wall, you should find it.
Orgasms provided via the D-spot are very intense and a lot of women report feeling this type of orgasm in their lower backs, and radiating up their spines and around their torsos.
The A-Spot Orgasm
Located just a little bit higher than the G-spot, the A-spot (Anterior-Fornix spot) provides a much more electric kind of sensation that some women say brings them to a sharper kind of orgasm. Another good thing about the A-spot is that it doesn’t get as sensitive as, say, the clitoris or the G-spot after climax—so continuing to stimulate it after orgasm will just result in… well, more lovely orgasms!
Orgasm by Kissing
Not one of those you can sort yourself out with, the kissing orgasm requires a partner—and a patient one, at that. To orgasm from just kissing alone, you need someone who is happy to spend at least an hour doing nothing more than allowing your lips and tongues to caress each other. The slow build-up allows you to get really turned on and relax into the moment. As the kissing progresses, and your arousal grows, the sensations will build until you find yourself completely overwhelmed and orgasming beautifully.
Orgasm by Vellication
Vellication refers to that type of touch where the skin on your body is barely stroked, and the nerves are just about awoken. This type of orgasm can take a bit of practice, as sometimes, continued touch in the same area of the body can be more irritating than orgasmic.
To bring about this type of climax, you can experiment with strokes that vary in pressure, length and speed. You can also experiment with different types of fabric—a velvet glove, a feather, or a silk cloth, for instance, will all produce different sensations. It’s much more fun if you avoid the obvious erogenous zones and seek out new ones.
The Breast Orgasm
Another orgasm that doesn’t require a partner, the orgasm arrived at by breast and/or nipple stimulation is hugely satisfying. Not every woman likes having her breasts touched at all, but if you do, then the best way to enjoy this type of orgasm is to experiment with touch in much the same way as for #3, above.
Gently stroking, pinching and rolling your nipples between your fingers (or having your partner do so, if you’re not on a solo run), can produce very enjoyable sensations. Licked fingertips gently applied to nipples can be hugely erotic as well as touch that barely happens. The palm of a hand applied gently in circular motions can also be enough to bring about orgasm in minutes.
The Clitoral Orgasm
The advance of touch pads has helped men discover their ability to gently, deftly, and dexterously move their fingertips over a small circular area. Women everywhere have rejoiced.
The thing with clitorises, though, is that not every one is the same; different women need different types of stimulation in order to fully enjoy the sensation of being touched there.
To further complicate issues, the clitoris can be more sensitive at different times during a woman’s cycle. Experimentation with pressure and speed can produce very exciting results—and it can be useful to have a wet finger (with lube or saliva) to reduce ‘drag’ and allow for a slicker touch.
The Vaginal Orgasm
Freud did us all a dis-service when he claimed that most women couldn’t orgasm from mere vaginal stimulation alone. This piece of mis-information meant that for generations many men and women didn’t even try.
The orgasm that results from vaginal penetration is quite deliciously satisfying in its own way, though it could be described (perhaps) as somewhat less acute and a bit more earthy than a clitoral orgasm. For a vaginal orgasm, long, smooth, even movements work best – rather than fast and furious.
The G-Spot Orgasm
For a long time, the orgasm achieved through stimulation of the G-spot (Gräfenberg-spot) was considered the holy grail of orgasms. Finding the spot can be hard enough to find the first time, but once you know where it is, you’re unlikely to forget.
It’s located about halfway up the front of the vaginal wall. If you insert a (clean) finger into your vagina, and slowly and gently run it up the vaginal wall, you should find a spot that feels slightly rough, almost like the shell of a walnut. If you stimulate it by moving your finger in a ‘come hither’ kind of way, you should be able to enjoy an orgasm within minutes. A penis or vibrator (especially one with a slight curve on the end) will provide the same experience.
The U-Spot Orgasm
The U-spot is very near the urethral opening—on either side and a bit at the top (if that makes sense). It’s a teeny-tiny spot that can be hard to find, but when you do, you’ll know because it kind of feels like a second clitoris. Given that it’s erectile tissue (like the clitoris and nipples), it can be extremely sensitive; so should be approached with caution.
Text: Hazel Katherine Larkin / Her World / November 2016