Why Do Men Want To Make Us Orgasm So Badly?

why men want us to orgasm

“C*m for me” is something a lot of us are told when getting down and dirty with a guy. And it can’t be denied that if uttered at the right time (and pace), it’s pretty… effective.

But why do men want to make us orgasm so badly—particularly since they usually seem to want it to happen much more than we do? Do they really care about our pleasure or is there more to this, well, selflessness?

Dr Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching, reckons that most men actually do it with sincere intentions.

“In my experience, men want to make their partners orgasm because they derive pleasure from giving pleasure,” she says.

“Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t all self-centred, selfish and lazy. Men who love giving pleasure do so because they simply love to give, provide, protect, and this extends to sex.”

That said, some of them may only care about our pleasure because of something called Masculine Gender Role Stress (MGRS). Dr Lee shares that a 2017 study found that men felt more masculine if they know or imagined that the woman they’re having sex with had an orgasm.

“MGRS suggests that some men may have more fragile senses of masculinity, so their manliness is more affected by external events or experiences. These men may be more driven to engage in behaviours which can restore their machismo,” she says.

More from CLEO:
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It’s Not Unsexy To Schedule Sex. Here’s Why
How To Tell Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies

She points out that it is also probably because of MGRS that some women fake orgasms.

“These women just don’t want to deal with the disappointment or sadness of their partners when they don’t orgasm. Or they just don’t want to feel like they’re not good enough for needing to masturbate or use a vibrator in order for their bodies to reach a climax,” says Dr Lee. 

Can’t tell whether your man has a keen interest in you c*mming because he’s selfless or otherwise? You might want to see how he reacts when you’re unable to orgasm. But if it’s nbd to you, just embrace the fact that someone is gunning for your pleasure.

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